My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
