it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
