You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
