I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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