sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize