Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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