Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
