so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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