Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
