Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
