went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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