Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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