oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
