ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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