ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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