Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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