Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
