Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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