Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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