Your tits are I can't wait for
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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