how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize