we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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