I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
