We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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