What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
