Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
