I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
