seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
