I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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