My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
