my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
