on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
