Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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