Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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