dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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