a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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