carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
