we're blogging at a bar
Your face is a jimmy john
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
