Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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