and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
