Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
