Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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