the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
