I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The feeling are messing with the penis
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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