How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
