I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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