I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
