I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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