What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
