Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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