please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize