I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
