Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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