I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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