I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
