This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize