one two three fourrrrnication!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
