I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
