everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize