Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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