dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
