yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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