apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
