I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
