I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
