Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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