We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
