My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize