I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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