i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
