i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
