Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
